The Noble Woman’s Guide On How to Tease One’s Husband – Chapter 9

Translated by: Oinkoink

Chapter 9 – Climbing the Wall

The weather turned gloomily cold after the high tide in the Yijiang river which caused dampness in the front and rear of the mansion. Chu Jinglan’s knees would dully ache whenever such weather arrived as he had suffered a very serious injury before. Not only was he unwilling to see the physician, he would still sit and read in the backyard pavilion for the whole day which nearly infuriated Lu Heng to death.

“I can see that you are really idle. Why not just agree to Ye Huaiyang’s proposal!”

Lu Heng raised the hem of his robe before taking a seat on the stone bench and with a frown, he stared at Chu Jinglan’s knees which was covered by a thin blanket. It didn’t appear to be any major problem but only he would know how intense it was if the old injury flared up. Yet the person concerned was just sitting there without a care, so how could Lu Heng not be angry?

“Nonsense.” Chu Jinglan turned the page of the book he was holding without raising his head, obviously not taking those words seriously.

“I however have seriously considered this. No matter how, it’s after all a worthwhile deal of getting a Ye family by ridding one Bai family, but I just have to find out what exactly is Ye Huaiyang’s objective. She seems to know what we want to do and this is not a good thing.”

As his usual habit, Lu Heng stroked his chin and enthusiastically reckoned but Chu Jinglan  immediately changed the subject, “How’s the inclinations of the royal court and the people these days?”

“Everything is just as you have anticipated; very calm. Basically no one knows the assassination attempt on King Lan mansion, but everybody is discussing about the appearance of Bai Zihao and you in Yujing restaurant at the same time. Now everyone from the Bai family is on tenterhooks.”

Chu Jinglan fixed his gaze as he placed the book back on the glossy marble table before he slowly said, “This is the result that Ye Huaiyang seems to ask for.”

Lu Heng was well aware of the situation and sighed, “Her stratagem of sowing discord was truly ingenious. Without moving a sword or a spear[1], she has managed to sow the seeds of suspicion on the Bai family. According to this approach, there will most probably be more provocation…. Ai.. this Ye Huaiyang is indeed not simple. It is actually good if she truly wants to cooperate with us, but it will certainly be troublesome if she is a chess piece controlled by the Eastern Palace that was deliberately used to lure us to take the bait.”

His implication had just fallen through when some rustling sound suddenly came through from the top of the wall which was twenty meters outside the room. Lu Heng instantly became alert. He gave the shadow guard a glance before several mysterious lights shot towards the top of the wall. They probed their hands over the wall and unexpectedly pulled out a shaggy big fellow!

In a split second, everybody fell into an unusual silence.

That big fellow was lying horizontally on top of the wall with half of its body in King Lan mansion and the other half in Ye manor. Its round belly was suspended in midair and was slightly shaking which was indeed hilarious. In the beginning, it would just blink its eyes and look around but soon, it started to whiningly cried out as its position might probably not be very comfortable with its movement detained by the shadow guards.

The mouthful of tea was choked in Lu Heng’s throat.

“It’s the first time for me to see a panda in Wangdu for my age….”

Hearing the movement on this side, Tang Qingfeng immediately ran over but instead was bewildered when he saw this big fellow and mumbled, “No wonder there are so many purchases of bamboo shoots everyday for next door. It must really be for feeding it.”

Lan-lan cried out more loudly when it saw that they were just looking at itself or just talking with no intention of releasing it. The tiles and paints on top of the wall were scraped off by the struggling and wriggling chubby body. The shadow guards might have long been slapped off the wall by its palms if they were not skilled in martial arts.

The sound of the shattered tiles finally disturbed the people of Ye manor. When the steward saw this awry situation, he immediately sent someone to inform Ye Huaiyang. The moment she rushed over after hearing the news, there was only half a foot remaining on the top of the wall.

“Lan-lan, come back!”

Ye Huaiyang only called out once and Lan-lan immediately moved its foot. As it was unable to climb back, it let out an aggrieved cry. Ye Huaiyang was feeling awfully distressed that she turned to glare at several of the shadow guards who were on top of the wall.

“Can I trouble you to return my panda to me.”

The shadow guards steadfastly stood their ground without Chu Jinglan’s orders.

Ye Huaiyang perilously squinted her phoenix eyes before she lightly spat out five words a moment later, “Go get me the ladder.”

The servants hurriedly propped up the bamboo ladder. Nobody dared to stop her even when they saw her lifted up the lower hem of her skirt. They could only helplessly look at her climbing up the wall. Lan-lan on the other hand seemingly sensed as it turned its head and softly cried out. Its voice was not as piercing as a moment ago as it sounded more like an infant raising its head anticipating its mother’s embrace. Ye Huaiyang felt her heart melted and soothingly caressed it before raising her head to look at Chu Jinglan.

“Wangye, can you allow your men to release my panda?”

There wasn’t any expression on Chu Jinglan’s face as if he was just looking at a stranger. Soon, he waved his hand briefly and all the shadow guards retreated. Once Lan-lan’s four limbs were set free, it immediately waved cheerfully which in turn caused it to slip a few inches over the other side of the wall and Ye Huaiyang hurriedly stopped it.

“Don’t move!” 

Lan-lan seemed to understand her words and obediently laid motionless on top of the wall. However, its center of gravity was no longer there and was slowly sliding down. Ye Huaiyang gritted her teeth and directly stepped on the tiles as she extended her hand to pull it back. Just when she almost grasped it towards her, she slipped and tumbled into King Lan mansion with the bear!

Though the wall was not high, she would still suffer severe injuries even if this didn’t kill her with such a behemoth tumbling and pressing her down. In a blink of an eye, Tang Qingfeng jumped and flew over to catch Lan-lan then rolled several laps on the ground with the bear in his embrace. Ye Huaiyang however fell onto the grass beside the wall with a burst of dizzy spells before she felt an extreme obtuse pain as if crushed by the rock on her back.

Lu Heng hurriedly stepped forward to look since he thought it would be difficult to explain clearly if something was to happen with her fall in King Lan mansion. As there was a distinct propriety between a man and a woman, he could only stand about three paces away and asked, “Miss Ye, are you alright?”

Ye Huaiyang did really fall hard, yet she didn’t show the least bit of distress. She clambered up from the ground without a moment’s hesitation, patted the dirt from her body and brushed the grass on her skirt away. Her action was calm and graceful without the slightest shred of embarrassment.

“Thanks for Physician Lu’s concern. I’m fine.”

Ye Huaiyang turned around to look at Lan-lan. She saw it tangled in a bundle with Tang Qingfeng where it licked and made a fuss, yet there seemed to be no major problem. She felt relieved and with a soft voice, she called out, “Lan-lan, come here.”

Lu Heng froze slightly, “Your panda….called Lan-lan?”

“Yeah.”

Ye Huaiyang smiled sweetly then immediately walked over and carried Lan-lan from Tang Qingfeng’s embrace. After expressing her thanks, she led it towards the pavilion and ultimately stopped in front of Chu Jinglan.

He was dressed rather casually today with a low-necked plain colored brocade and a cardigan revealing a small portion of his chest and the sexy Adam’s apple. He was tall and strong that even while sitting, he was almost the same height as hers. Those hawk-like eyes firmly captured her line of sight. With great difficulty, she struggled to break free before her gaze gilded towards his thin lips where her throat felt slightly dry and not able to speak a word for half of the day.

Chu Jinglan’s patience had silently reached its limit while she was still staring blankly at him.

She had met him four times and had used such a bare, naked eyes to look at him four times!

“Ye Huaiyang.” He cried out her full name. His intonation was like the deep valley laced with extreme frigidness, “This King wants to know if the noble ladies in Wangdu are extremely audacious like you?”

His words brought Ye Huaiyang back to the present and she could hear the satire in his words. She understood Chu Jinglan’s meaning but the corners of her lips gradually raised before her smile became more evident.

She finally knew how to rip off his indifference mask.

Ye Huaiyang leaned forward slightly with merely inches away from Chu Jinglan and their breaths melded together, “I’ve heard that the northern women are very valiant. It would appear Wangye is still not knowledgeable enough having to say that I am impetuous even after living there for six years.”

The dashing brows of Chu Jinglan unexpectedly knitted together. Just as he was about to open his mouth, Ye Huaiyang retreated a few steps and squatted down. She carried the soft and chubby Lan-lan into her bosom before giving it a kiss. She then pointed at her cheek and said, “Lan-lan give me a kiss too.”

Lan-lan immediately pounced itself over before delivering a loud and clear wet kiss.

Lu Heng who was watching the entire performance by the side was stupefied with his mouth hung open for a long time. He was pretty sure this time that Ye Huaiyang had named her panda on purpose!

“You are still the obedient one. Come. Let’s go home.”

Ye Huaiyang deliberately shot Chu Jinglan a glance as she confidently led Lan-lan away right in front of him without any greeting or salutation and the haughtiness that made one bristle with anger. Chu Jinglan tightened his lips while his eyes were infused with coldness that could almost freeze one to death.

“Qingfeng.”

He coldly called out. Tang Qingfeng felt his ears slightly tremble. He instantly arrived as he bowed and asked, “The subordinate is here. What’s Wangye’s command?”

“Increase three more feet of the height for the mansion’s wall and should someone break in, this King will hold you responsible.”

Tang Qingfeng was dumbfounded and subconsciously raised his head but lowered it again after he met the piercing cold look of Chu Jinglan. His heart leapt yet he immediately responded, “Yes. This subordinate will comply.”

Who would have thought the people from Ye manor would appear in front of them an hour later after believing that this matter had ended. It was not climbing over the wall this time but was directly knocking on the mansion’s door. Tang Qingfeng went over and saw Ye manor’s steward smilingly standing in front of the door. When the steward saw his arrival, he immediately ordered the people to bring the gift over

“Imperial guard Tang. In order to thank Wangye for giving a helping hand, please don’t refuse the small gift of gratitude that my family’s young miss had specially appointed me to bring over.”

When Tang Qingfeng recalled his master’s expression a moment ago, his first reaction was to refuse but the extremely slick old steward had already retreated after he placed the gift down. The old steward had already stepped half his foot into Ye manor once he reacted. He was now stuck between advancing or retreating as he held the hot potato in his hand and simply wanted to cry yet no tears. Lu Heng swayed a piece of a ring-like jade pendant and walked over at this moment.

“You idiot. This is a game between them. Why do you care?” 

Tang Qingfeng also knew he had fallen yet he asked with a bitter look, “Should I hand this thing to Wangye?”

Lu Heng looked at the purple gold palm-sized box before he suddenly took it and twisted the jade buckle with two fingers where the lid automatically popped open. Covering inside was the smooth black satin and contained a thumb-sized pill. He moved the box closer to take a sniff carefully and unexpectedly laughed profoundly.

“What are you laughing about?”

“Laughing at how attentive this girl is.” Lu Heng snapped the box closed before placing it back onto Tang Qingfeng’s hand. “Send it for Wangye’s consumption. Just say I’ve found the medication.”

“But this was gifted by her and what if it’s poisonous?”

After finishing the question, Tang Qingfeng felt regretful. How could Lu Heng not be able to distinguish whether it is poisonous as he had been under the tutelage of a medical saint? He raised his head and as expected, he found Lu Heng looking at him like an idiot.

“Still not going?”

Tang Qingfeng silently walked away with the purple gold box. Lu Heng looked at his departing back and subconsciously lost in thought.

Did Ye Huaiyang notice the relapse of Wangye’s old injuries when she bickered with him just now? Did she have that kind of thought?


[1]a sword or a spear ( 一刀一槍-Yīdāo yī qiāng) – Go to battle on the battlefield / Use metaphors to personally participate in certain activities.

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