The Jade Emperor Told Me To Live-stream! - 2
T/N: in Chinese slang, ‘salted fish’ means ‘corpse’
What the hell? He had unquestionably hoped for a passing immortal to save him but why would the black and white grim reapers come?
If someone asked Mo Ming who he had wanted to see the least at this precise moment in time, the answer would undoubtedly be these two! The reason for this was simple – wherever the black and white reapers were, there would always be death!
“Mo Ming, male, fourteen years old, attacked by beasts outside of Yunzhou city. Because of severe, untreated wounds, the body became food for the wolves after death!”
The white reaper presented the information in front of him and said, “If there aren’t any problems, then come with us to the underworld to enter the cycle of reincarnation!”
“There is a problem! There is a problem! You guys have got it wrong. I’m not the Mo Ming you’re trying to find. My spirit just entered his body! The soul of the body’s original owner should be around here somewhere. If you guys have a search for it, you should be able to find it in no time!” Mo Ming explained hurriedly.
According to his knowledge, the underworld was the place that was dealt with all mortal lives. If he explained his situation, the black and white reapers shouldn’t keep hassling him.
However, the answer the reapers gave was way out of his expectations.
“Don’t play tricks with us. We have been here already. Other than your newly departed spirit, there are only a few stray souls that have already died for many years. There is no ‘original owner’ that you speak of. I persuade you to come with us quietly, otherwise, I will make you suffer!” the white reaper said coolly.
“What did you say? I’m the only newly dead spirit? How can that be? You should have another search! You’ve obviously missed it the first time round!”
Mo Ming was confused instantly. How could this be? A newly departed soul couldn’t wander too far away from its body – that was basic knowledge!
The black reaper didn’t even try to understand Mo Ming. Instead, he forcibly put Mo Ming’s soul into custody and said without a hint of doubt, “Don’t try to trick us. I don’t care whether you are ‘Mo Ming’ or not. Since we’ve caught you today, you will come down to the underworld with us.”
“I… I don’t even know anything; you guys should explain to me instead. I want to see King Qinguang, the god of the underworld!”
Mo Ming felt today was truly fucked up.
First, he was confusedly cast out of heaven and into the mortal realm, closely followed by taking the mortal Mo Ming’s place on his journey to the underworld. This positively seemed like it was organized beforehand…
The black reaper smiled coldly and pushed Mo Ming’s soul through the black hole. Darkness gathered behind them and light vanished, which meant that they were already in the warp tunnel that led to the underworld.
There was only darkness inside the warp tunnel. One would not be able to see their fingers if they stretched out their hand in front of them. Dead silence surrounded them. The reapers didn’t say a word, and Mo Ming didn’t attempt to communicate with them either.
Talking with those two was a waste of his time. He might as well talk to King Qinguang directly. The underworld always did things rigorously and justly. If King Qinguang was there to set things straight, Mo Ming was sure that the truth will quickly emerge.
But in the flash of time Mo Ming had thought this, he suddenly felt restless for no apparent reason. It felt like bad things were going to happen.
Unless… the way the underworld did things changed? Mo Ming’s heart fell and he subconsciously rubbed at his chest, retrieving a flat object the size of his palm from the inner pockets of his robes.
The whole body of the object was black and there was no indication of any spiritual energy movement. The front of the object was polished so much that it was brighter than an immortal’s bronze mirror!
At the bottom of the object’s front was a concave circular button. On the back of the object was an apple logo. Underneath it, were the words ‘iPhone 8’.
This was the object the Jade Emperor shoved into his hands when he was still in the mortal realm, saying that it would be useful for his live-streaming as he faked being a mortal.
The screen lit up and he opened his ‘contacts’. Inside were Lord Laozi, the Monkey King, Erlang Shen, and Lu Dongbin, a Taoist priest….
And next to the last profile picture on the last page of his contacts were the two words: ‘Jade Emperor’!
Mo Ming suddenly calmed down.
He remembered that when he was in the mortal realm, the Jade Emperor told him to use an app called ‘salted fishy live-stream’ when he arrived in the mortal realm. The app would let him stream as he pretended to be a mortal. The Emperor even said that if his acting was good enough, there would be lots of benefits waiting for him!
What kind of benefits, Mo Ming didn’t know but he believed that as the ruler of all three realms, the Jade Emperor wouldn’t lie about such things.
Mo Ming was not unfamiliar with the ‘salted fishy live-stream’ app. This was one of the most famous streaming platforms up in the heavens.
In reality, immortals and deities weren’t as pure-hearted as the mortals thought they were. On the contrary, they also had pleasure, anger, sorrow, and joy, as well as the seven emotions and six sensory pleasures. Because they lived for much longer, their demand for entertainment was also much stronger.
Mo Ming found the ‘salted fishy live-stream’ app on his home screen.
After he clicked it, a panda, dressed in a curator’s clothing, jumped out. Its hands were holding a salted fish. The words beneath the panda read, ‘There is no difference between salted fish and people who don’t pretend’.
Then, after a ‘loading…’ screen appeared, he was taken to the streamers’ login page.
Mo Ming hesitated for a moment and in the box for his username, he typed in these seven words: ‘Heaven’s pretending ambassador to the mortal realm’.
This username was not made by Mo Ming but the Jade Emperor! He had made it especially for him so that Mo Ming would co-operate with him (to live-stream).
So, Mo Ming indeed was following orders by pretending to be a mortal!
According to the app’s instructions, the camera will be turned on after a simple set-up. Mo Ming’s figure appeared on that screen – he was about to start his first live-stream after arriving in the mortal realm.
At the same time, notifications dinged! on the phones of many deities across the heavens.
In Doushu Palace, there was an old man who had a kindly looking face and moist eyes. His beard and hair were as white as snow. He wore a robe with a Taichi logo and a unique aura around him. As he faced a medical pill stove that was taller than a person, he closed his eyes.
At this time, a young Taoist disciple suddenly walked up to him. After respectfully bowing, he said, “Master, someone is pretending to be a mortal in the mortal realm again!”
In the cave behind the waterfall on Huaguo Mountain was a golden monkey with a face as pink as peaches and blazing golden eyes. He wore a golden set of robes, looking very solemn. In one hand, he held a Buddhist bracelet and in the other, he held an iPhone.
“I truly didn’t misjudge him. He is indeed a natural streamer. He had just arrived in the mortal realm and he’s already starting a live-stream?”
And in the magnificent Lingxiao Palace, where red clouds and purple smoke gather, there were beautiful women in breezy robes and children in colorful clothes on both sides of the palace’s main room. A young person was scribbling away in his book.
A child walked across the room quickly and bowed. “Your Celestial Majesty, there is someone pretending to be a mortal in the mortal realm!”
At the same time as this happened, rows upon rows of words jumped up from the bottom left corner of the screen.
‘Welcome! Lord Laozi has joined the live-stream!’
‘Welcome! The Winning Buddha has joined the live-stream!’
And in the upper left corner of the screen, there was a counter which showed how many people were watching the live-stream. Starting from ‘0’, it jumped to ‘1’ and then the numbers kept jumping to higher and higher as the speed the views went up was increasing.
Of course, Mo Ming didn’t know about any of this.
After he initiated the camera, he stuffed the phone back into his robes. Only the camera on the back of the phone peeked out as the live-stream continued.
He had absolutely no idea, and would never have thought that he would attract so many deities’ attention in his first live-stream…
All of this happened silently, and so it did not alert the back and white reapers abut Mo Ming’s live-streaming. They were busy leading Mo Ming through the tunnel.
After around fifteen minutes, they exited the tunnel and were greeted in the face by a desolate wave of air.
The sky of the underworld is yellow. The wind that bore the stench of death was everywhere and it carried the dust into the sky, covering up the sun.
A grand mansion with tall scarlet walls stood in front of them. Its roof was so delicately carved it appeared to be alive.
Even from far away, Mo Ming could feel the suffocating solemnity and majesty of the place.
And above the entrance hung a great big sign: ‘Office of King Qinguang’.
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