I Wanted to Convey Love to You, Not Death - Chapter 5
“This is where we first met, right? Why bother coming all the way here again?”
At the next teleportation destination, I was surprised to hear him ask that.
“Before I met you, I saw the sunset here and thought it was beautiful. That’s why I brought you here.” This is the first time I’ve lied to him.
My heart already hurts.
I had really come here to do the work of the Shinigami.
The job of the Shinigami, as I told him at the beginning, is to announce the end of the dying humans. But to be precise, it could be done by the Shinigami who told that person again at the time of his death. That way, the person who was told would die immediately.
One word from me, that person will die. I finally understood the meaning of the words. What a terrible job.
The reasons for death must be changed to fit the human world. He was destined to die from the start.
I tried to tell myself that, but I couldn’t do anything about the pain in my chest. I already know the reason why I am like this. I have fallen in love with him because of her charm. He worries for me and takes good care of me, I definitely love him.
I can’t pretend, and I don’t want to pretend anymore. No matter what gender, I like him. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’m serious. But Shinigami have their own rules in the world of Shinigami. The Shinigami must announce the end of humans so as not to disturb the distribution of the numbers between the living and the dead.
If the distribution collapses, the world will fall into chaos and darkness at once.
The Shinigami’s pronouncement must be absolute.
On the contrary, if the reaper makes a mistake, it will change the fate of the human. If that happened, humans and even the grim reaper might meet an even more gruesome death. After all, that would be a violation of the great principles of life and death in the natural world.
Therefore, the Shinigami had to make sure that humans had died. This is a big problem if something special happens on the way and the person doesn’t die. Because I’ve repeated it again and again.
My heart never hurts.
That’s a person’s lifespan, and that’s my job. I don’t really think about it.
There’s nothing to doubt about, but now my heart hurts. I couldn’t help feeling that I didn’t want to say those last words to him.
I know it’s not good for both of us.
Still, I’m lost.
It wasn’t all bad for him to be told about his end. When a person is informed of his end by the shinigami, his life as a human ends there. But he can be reincarnated and reborn like any other human. For him to be reborn, for his life to continue, I really need to say those words.
I know in theory, but I can’t follow my heart. It’s important right now, but I just don’t want to leave him. What kind of sin makes me feel this way?
“That’s right! This isn’t just a memorial for our meeting, is it? I wonder what the sunset will be like. I’m looking forward to it.”
He couldn’t possibly know about my suffering, so he said it with a bright smile.
When I saw his smile, I remembered all the things I had done with him.
I see him smile in various forms. When he found out he was going to die, he told me to have fun until then, he was nice to me, and we saw beautiful scenery together on our way. Every time, he looks like an idiot, a complete idiot, but always pure and happy.
How beautiful his heart is!
He also taught me a lot of emotions.
I started wanting to spend more time with him. Of course, I immediately realized that this was an unrealistic wish. I’ve never heard of human and reaper getting together.
Still, I can’t stop the feeling.
I want to see him even more in the future.
However, there was almost no time left before he died. Death is the only thing I can say to him now.
I’m sure if I tell him that I love him, my feelings will become unstoppable, and I will lose track of time. I wanted to tell him, but I can’t. I bit my lip tightly. It is irritating and frustrating, but I can do nothing about the reality that is standing in front of me.
When he saw that I wasn’t responding, he asked, “What’s wrong?” He’s worried about me.
I felt that I was making him worry again, and if I kept him worrying until the end of his life, he wouldn’t be at ease.
I want him to smile as much as possible, and more importantly, I don’t want him to be in pain.
So I finally made up my mind.
Thank you for reading! ‘I loved him deeply, but it’s so suffocating.’ Next is the final episode. I hope you can stay with me until the end.
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