A Warm Short Story - 4
Gu Hao was extremely drunk that day, leaving his memory fragmented. Forgetting about what happened that day after he got drunk, he thought it was a dream until he received the text message.
“Your new friend Yangyang is here, and he’s at the bridge near the school. He’s the chubby big golden dog who’s panting happily.”
“You are…..” Gu Hao wasn’t too sure.
“Su Yimin.” The message came instantly. So did another one. “I’m the youngest and most handsome male doctor in the infirmary.”
Gu Hao, amused by this guy, unknowingly lifted his tense lips into a smile.
The two of them gradually became more familiar with each other.
Su Yimin would regularly make time at night, bringing that big golden retriever from home called Yangyang to the school gates to wait for Gu Hao. After that, both of them would go to a deserted place nearby.
Gu Hao was a bit tense at first, standing there stiffly. Eventually, after he was more familiar with him, he would act like there was no one around, openly squatting down to cuddle and play with the dog. He even talked to the dog at times.
And Su Yimin stood to the side, smiling at the university boy kindly, devoid of any ulterior motives, befitting of the term “angel in white”.
Occasionally, his gaze would unintentionally lower to his dog licking Gu Hao’s seductive Adam’s apple and jaw. He would cough and turn his indecent gaze somewhere else.
Su Yimin never planned to tell Gu Hao his sexuality. On one hand, he felt like there was no need to. On the other hand, he didn’t want Gu Hao to feel uneasy towards the only person in the university who knew his secret.
After spending a lot of time with Gu Hao, his healer’s heart began to feel that this kid hadn’t had it easy.
Gu Hao’s parents were selfish people. When Gu Hao was younger, they would argue for the smallest reason and then take their temper out on him, as they had severe inclinations towards domestic violence. After that, they would do their own things instead of caring about how their child was, simply free rearing the child.
When he was a child, Gu Hao nearly lost his mother in a crowd when they were out shopping, causing him severe trauma. Afterwards, he developed this quirk of clinging onto people.
Unable to hide it in kindergarten, he hugged all of his newfound friends and followed them around, so attached to them that he seemed like their tail. He was labelled a pervert by many people, with them mocking and insulting him.
When he started, he was a good person. But, because of the bullying, he became cold and unapproachable, radiating off a “human repelling” aura with his seemingly heartless facade, causing no one to want to get near to him.
Su Yimin just wanted to be his friend at the start and do his utmost to be kinder to that guy.
The two of them maintained a long friendship, from silently walking the dog to being able to get supper together, talking about their families.
During that time, Gu Hao warmed up, and his lips would even occasionally curl up into a smile. The usually mean and threatening but attractive guy relaxing was a sight for sore eyes.
Su Yimin was also happy in this situation. Until he realised slowly, he was getting out of control.
Su Yimin seemed warm and helpful, but he was actually a self-serving egoist who did not want to be emotionally indebted to anyone。
There was a coldness in his bones, and he would never let himself suffer the sentiment of love.
Su Yimin had a steady boyfriend before, and even though he was very responsible and caring, he was always called heartless.
In the beginning, Su Yimin felt that he was wrongly accused until he found out his boyfriend cheated on him and dumped him with a laugh and a well-wish to him. That night, he had let the other man cry outside his door, sobbing so desperately he nearly kneeled down to beg for his forgiveness for the entire night, while he slept peacefully in his bed, did he realised that fact.
His logic always seemed to be stronger than his feelings. In all his relationships, he was only concerned about feeling comfortable, and never really cared about anyone.
But he knew, now that he was unexpectedly interested in a straight man, his feelings were being influenced by the other.
He didn’t know when it started. Every time he saw the coldness from Gu Hao’s face melting, showing a smile only for him, he felt a desire growing, an impulse he couldn’t control.
He was unable to be interested in anyone else. If his mind wasn’t occupied by something else, it would be filled by Gu Hao. Thinking of the sight of him squatting down to pat the dog’s fur with warmth in his eye. Thinking of the cute yet sexy view of him getting pounced on by the big dog. Thinking of the heartwarming scene of how he would lift his head, looking at the other, showing amusement and awkwardness.
When he found out the school’s prettiest girl was also wooing Gu Hao, he got extremely jealous. It led to him pressing Gu Hao against a wall, the latter asking, “What’s wrong?” with such unguarded face, and the former having to restrain himself from kissing him.
Realising that this was wrong, he started unintentionally avoiding Gu Hao for a while, under the excuse of “I was busy.”
Not knowing if it was a coincidence, after a while, Gu Hao treated him to a meal and told him he didn’t have to come again.
When Su Yimin was still reeling from this, Gu Hao informed him that he had found an apartment and was moving there, and had even bought a docile cat. Su Yimin was relieved, and so did not contact him for a long time.
After a while,by chance, he overheard Gu Hao’s classmates that Gu Hao’s condition was getting worse and worse. Even though he used to have that cold and stoic face, but, at least he would respond to people. Now he was akin to a zombie, becoming so unresponsive he wouldn’t even fight back when being attacked.
Only now did he not care about the taboo, and called that number he had memorised so long ago, asking the other out.
They were only apart for a while, but Gu Hao seemed to have reverted back to how he was when they first met. Silent and standing there with an emotionless look while the golden retriever pounced on him enthusiastically.
Seeing him like this, Su Yimin asked worriedly. “What happened recently? I heard you’re not feeling well?”
“Nothing.” Gu Hao paused for a while, perhaps feeling that his answer was too half-hearted, and continued to explain lukewarmly: “My parents had a divorce.”
“Oh…” Su Yimin paused for a while, wanting to pat his shoulder, but stopped, and ended up saying softly. “Don’t be sad, you’re already an adult, you can live well on your own too, your parents don’t deserve you……”
“It’s fine, it hasn’t mattered for a long time.” Gu hao interrupted Su Yimin’s consolation.
Silence hung over the two of them.
Gu Hao kneeled down and petted the dog single handedly.
It was a long while before Su Yimin opened his mouth, wanting to break the silence and continue counselling the other when Gu Hao suddenly started talking.
“Su Yimin, are you annoyed with me too?” Gu Hao’s voice was low, almost unable to be heard.
Su Yimin was shocked.
He looked at Gu Hao, squatting in the cold wind.
When he wasn’t wearing his school uniform, Gu Hao liked to wear full black. In the day, he looked like part of the mafia, scary and intimidating. At night, his black clothes made his presence virtually undetectable.
Perhaps because he was very tall and knew about Gu Hao’s problems, the towering figure of Gu Hao, now curling up, seemed lonely to him.
Su Yimin suddenly realised the cause of the other’s recent depression, it was him?
Gu Hao clearly was emotionless. Still, not knowing if it was an illusion, he evidently saw, on that blank face, a trace of ……loneliness.
Gu Hao rubbed his cold face, one that had been blown by the wind, believing it was too embarrassing for a grown man to be like this, and quickly stood up.
To relieve the awkwardness, he tried to light a cigarette. After failing to light it after a long while, he held it in his mouth, and scoffed, “Fuck! I just drank alcohol……I’m a bit out of it.”
“You’re great, you’ve done a lot, there’s no need to bother with me anymore.” When Gu Hao stood up, he stood further away from the other and waved his hand, biting on the cigarette. “It’s pretty late, you better rest early. I’ll be going.”
Su Yimin felt that he definitely couldn’t interact with a straight guy like this and that he’ll break character sooner or later. However, looking at Gu Hao who was walking away like nothing had happened, he called out: ” Gu Hao.”
Gu Hao looked at him, there was no expression on his face, but Su Yimin still felt pity for him.
Su Yimin couldn’t help but walk nearer and raised his hand to embrace Gu Hao.
Gu Hao was forced to lower his neck, his jaw tapped gently on Su Yimin’s shoulder, causing his cigarette to fall from his mouth onto the ground.
Gu Hao’s entire being tensed up, and he stood, wide-eyed. That was Gu Hao’s first hug for as long as he could remember.
Su Yimin was wearing an open windbreaker with a toasty sweater inside, the warmth of his body temperature enveloping the other.
“I’m sorry. I hadn’t met you for so long” Su Yimin said seriously, and smiled helplessly, “But what were you thinking? How could I hate you?”
He patted Gu Hao’s back heavily, comforting him, “Be more confident, you’re really great. Mn?”
Gu hao seemed to have confirmed something only now, slowly raising his stiff hand to touch the other’s back. He hid his head and hugged him back.
His voice sounded nasal as his head was buried.” Mn……”
Like a dehydrated fish that had been away from water for too long returning to the ocean, he tightened up his limbs, hugging tightly.
The two of them embraced for a long time.
In the end, Su Yimin broke character.
‘…….you?” Gu Hao felt Su Yimin’s particular place being different, causing his eyes opened wide in shock. It took him a while to respond, stiffly opening his mouth. “You’re…”
Su Yimin not only did not let him go and explain but, did an extremely immoral action that worsened his already broken image.
“Yes.” Su Yimin held on tightly to the waist of the tense Gu Hao who was thinking of stepping back. “Do you feel it? Gu Hao.”
“Do you know why I didn’t look for you recently? Mn?” Su Yimin raised an eyebrow, asking with impure intentions.
“Su Yimin……” Gu hao was restrained, pressing against him tightly, feeling it. His initially cold face was replaced with a blushing one a while ago. He wanted to push him away but was full of hesitation, feeling like he shouldn’t, and not knowing what to do.
“Gu Hao, I like you.” Su Yimin let go of Gu Hao’s waist, allowing him to be more comfortable. However, his hand still held on to his back, hugging him, whispering into his ear. “I want to be with you.”
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